Friday, May 4, 2012

The Badly Behaving Board Member


He raises his voice to staff.  He goes on long, windy tirades during board meetings.  He cows his colleagues on the board into fidgety, stare-into-your-lap silences. 

He is a badly behaving board member.

Regardless of his contributions to the organization, this board member drags you down.  He makes board meetings short periods of misery.  He unhinges your other board members.  He is anything but a reflection in the community of the wonderfulness of your organization.

What on earth to do with the badly behaving board member?

Here I offer five steps to diagnosing and treating this affliction, and end with a recitation of your responsibility to do something and do it responsibly.

1.       Diagnose the condition: performance or behavior.  What exactly is he doing to that’s counter to your aims?  Is he a good performer, doing what he says and fulfilling his obligations? Or not.  Is his behavior productive to your board and conducive to harmony, achievement and forward movement?  Or not.  Once you identify whether it’s his performance is lacking or his behavior is unacceptable, then you know which area to address.    Here we will focus on behavioral issues.

2.       Identify his positive intentions.  Hard to believe, but underneath that unacceptable behavior is a positive intention.  He wishes the best for your organization.  If he didn’t, he wouldn’t  care enough to act out.  His behavior reflects some kind of violation of his expectations for your group.  To discover his positive intention, first tell him that you know he has good intentions for the land trust, then ask him, “What are you trying to accomplish by this behavior?”  You will not likely get a straight answer, so ask again, in response to his answer, “What’s even more important than that?”  Keep the conversation going until you have identified the source of his angst in the form of his expectations and positive intentions for your organization.  You know when to stop asking when you get his answer in a positive statement (what he wants) instead of a negative statement (what he doesn’t want).

3.       Gain agreement on expectations.  Explain that you appreciate his positive intentions, and that his behavior is not helping realize those intentions.  Then describe how you want him to behave.  If he is abusive to staff or board members, tell him how you want him to behave.  “To realize those positive intentions I expect you to treat other members with respect.  Let them finish their sentences.  Stay on the agenda.  Thank them for their work.  Use a respectful tone of voice.  This is what will get you what you want.  Would you consider doing these things to satisfy your positive intentions?”  Pointing out the negative behaviors may only generate defensiveness and resistance.  Explain what you expect and want from him, and gain agreement on those things.

4.       Ensure accountability.  First, catch him doing things right.  As soon as you see the behavior you desire, let him know what he did that you like and that you appreciate it.  If he does revert to the old behavior, point out that you and he have an agreement, that you would appreciate him doing the behavior that he’s agreed upon, and ask him to re-commit to the agreement.  Anybody can slip once or twice.  It’s important to refocus him on the desired behavior, and not permit him to revert to the old behavior without refocusing.

5.       End the relationship.  If you do not get consistent positive results, perhaps this board member is not a good fit for your organization.  Some people think that you cannot fire a volunteer, but that is truly false.  Starting again with his positive intentions, point out that both he and the organization are unhappy with each other, no hard feelings, but you’ve tried to remedy the situation and now the best thing is to part ways.

Serious Concerns
1.        Will there be a negative reaction from the community if we end the relationship with this board member?
Maybe the obverse is the better question.  If this person has unacceptable behavior within your organization, he likely acts the same way in his other walks of life.  Everybody knows this person is grumpy.  They won’t fault you for it, and maybe will appreciate you all the more.  Even if you do encounter some backlash, if you have done the right thing and done it the right way, you have done what you can.  Take your shots like a lady or gentleman and move forward.

2.       Nobody on the board will stand up to him.  Who should interact with him?
Ideally, the board chair or another board member, a peer, would have this conversation with the board member.  It’s not really the executive director’s job to manage the board; it’s the board chair’s job.  If the board chair is unwilling or unable, perhaps another board member who has the respect of the board member in question could intervene.  You may need to bring in an outside resource, such as a member of the LTA staff or outside consultant, to frame the issue and bring about some resolution.  It’s not the executive director’s job, and you don’t want to get into board politics.  Don’t take it on yourself.

It is incumbent on the leaders of the organization to address this bad behavior.  This kind of behavior drags down everyone—board, staff, perhaps even members of the community.  Your board reflects your organization to the community, and bad behavior from anyone in the organization reflects on your whole organization. 

You owe it to your organization, your staff, your board and yourself to replace this behavior with useful behavior congruent with your organization.  You also, in an ironic way, owe it to the grumpy board member.  He’s gotten away with this for a while, maybe a long time.  He may not have an idea of how badly he comes across. Until somebody points it out, he may not have a good picture of himself.  And he cares about your organization.  Maybe your organization is the only one who cares enough about him to call it out and show him how he could do better.

Confucian philosophy says that a relatively balanced personality has equal measure of wisdom, benevolence and courage.  You need all three in this situation.  You need the wisdom to know that you have to address this behavior, what will happen if you don’t.  You need the benevolence to care enough about your organization and him to do the right thing, the right way.  You need the courage to stand up and confront, take the hard steps to do the right thing.