He raises his voice to staff. He goes on long, windy tirades during board
meetings. He cows his colleagues on the
board into fidgety, stare-into-your-lap silences.
He is a badly behaving board member.
Regardless of his contributions to the organization, this
board member drags you down. He makes
board meetings short periods of misery.
He unhinges your other board members.
He is anything but a reflection in the community of the wonderfulness of
your organization.
What on earth to do with the badly behaving board member?
Here I offer five steps to diagnosing and treating this
affliction, and end with a recitation of your responsibility to do something
and do it responsibly.
1.
Diagnose
the condition: performance or behavior.
What exactly is he doing to that’s counter to your aims? Is he a good performer, doing what he says
and fulfilling his obligations? Or not.
Is his behavior productive to your board and conducive to harmony,
achievement and forward movement? Or
not. Once you identify whether it’s his
performance is lacking or his behavior is unacceptable, then you know which
area to address. Here we will focus on
behavioral issues.
2.
Identify
his positive intentions. Hard to
believe, but underneath that unacceptable behavior is a positive
intention. He wishes the best for your
organization. If he didn’t, he
wouldn’t care enough to act out. His behavior reflects some kind of violation
of his expectations for your group. To
discover his positive intention, first tell him that you know he has good
intentions for the land trust, then ask him, “What are you trying to accomplish
by this behavior?” You will not likely
get a straight answer, so ask again, in response to his answer, “What’s even
more important than that?” Keep the conversation
going until you have identified the source of his angst in the form of his
expectations and positive intentions for your organization. You know when to stop asking when you get his
answer in a positive statement (what he wants) instead of a negative statement
(what he doesn’t want).
3.
Gain
agreement on expectations. Explain
that you appreciate his positive intentions, and that his behavior is not
helping realize those intentions. Then
describe how you want him to behave. If
he is abusive to staff or board members, tell him how you want him to
behave. “To realize those positive
intentions I expect you to treat other members with respect. Let them finish their sentences. Stay on the agenda. Thank them for their work. Use a respectful tone of voice. This is what will get you what you want. Would you consider doing these things to
satisfy your positive intentions?”
Pointing out the negative behaviors may only generate defensiveness and
resistance. Explain what you expect and
want from him, and gain agreement on those things.
4.
Ensure
accountability. First, catch him
doing things right. As soon as you see
the behavior you desire, let him know what he did that you like and that you
appreciate it. If he does revert to the
old behavior, point out that you and he have an agreement, that you would
appreciate him doing the behavior that he’s agreed upon, and ask him to
re-commit to the agreement. Anybody can
slip once or twice. It’s important to
refocus him on the desired behavior, and not permit him to revert to the old
behavior without refocusing.
5.
End
the relationship. If you do not get
consistent positive results, perhaps this board member is not a good fit for
your organization. Some people think
that you cannot fire a volunteer, but that is truly false. Starting again with his positive intentions,
point out that both he and the organization are unhappy with each other, no
hard feelings, but you’ve tried to remedy the situation and now the best thing
is to part ways.
Serious Concerns
1. Will
there be a negative reaction from the community if we end the relationship with
this board member?
Maybe the obverse is the better question. If this person has unacceptable behavior
within your organization, he likely acts the same way in his other walks of
life. Everybody knows this person is grumpy. They won’t fault you for it, and maybe will
appreciate you all the more. Even if you
do encounter some backlash, if you have done the right thing and done it the
right way, you have done what you can.
Take your shots like a lady or gentleman and move forward.
2. Nobody on the board will stand up to
him. Who should interact with him?
Ideally, the board chair or another board member, a peer,
would have this conversation with the board member. It’s not really the executive director’s job
to manage the board; it’s the board chair’s job. If the board chair is unwilling or unable,
perhaps another board member who has the respect of the board member in
question could intervene. You may need
to bring in an outside resource, such as a member of the LTA staff or outside
consultant, to frame the issue and bring about some resolution. It’s not the executive director’s job, and
you don’t want to get into board politics.
Don’t take it on yourself.
It is incumbent on the leaders of the organization to
address this bad behavior. This kind of
behavior drags down everyone—board, staff, perhaps even members of the
community. Your board reflects your
organization to the community, and bad behavior from anyone in the organization
reflects on your whole organization.
You owe it to your organization, your staff, your board
and yourself to replace this behavior with useful behavior congruent with your
organization. You also, in an ironic
way, owe it to the grumpy board member.
He’s gotten away with this for a while, maybe a long time. He may not have an idea of how badly he comes
across. Until somebody points it out, he may not have a good picture of
himself. And he cares about your
organization. Maybe your organization is
the only one who cares enough about him to call it out and show him how he
could do better.
Confucian philosophy says that a relatively balanced
personality has equal measure of wisdom, benevolence and courage. You need all three in this situation. You need the wisdom to know that you have to
address this behavior, what will happen if you don’t. You need the benevolence to care enough about
your organization and him to do the right thing, the right way. You need the courage to stand up and
confront, take the hard steps to do the right thing.